Okay so this is where I post things that I want to remember, but I don’t want anyone to see.

I am trying to gain insight in myself and this may or may not be some:

I got out of a long and effed up relationship and I thought moving schools would fix it. When I met a boy who seemed like he was different, I thought that he would save me. And instead he did the complete opposite… he messed me up even worse then the first guy somehow. And I think that’s maybe why I can’t even handle boys… I basically committed boy suicide the past few years when I tried to be saved by a guy who only wanted to hurt me. So now I have to fix myself, which I should have known in the first place.

Another thing: is this the same reason I like gymnastics and cheer? Two sports that basically kill me being so addicting and painful but SO fun? AHH I’m not as messed up as I could be… but this definitely seems like a correlating personality quirk… oy.